You breath in when I breath out

I found this video on a blog recently and loved the song and video. It made me cry actually, well not cry as so much as bring a tear to my eyes. Being immobile like I have, I have been counting on people and needing more support than ever. I loved this video in the sense that we all need that extra support every so often and it's good to know that there is someone there to catch you when you need it. I have been lucky this summer to have great family and friends that have done just that. They've given me hugs when I needed them, and catch me when I need help. I know that there are things far worse than having foot surgery and that this is small compared to other things. I'm just not use to being stuck in the house or not being able to go and do as I please. It's been a test to say the least. Why have I never heard of this group before? They are from Scotland and their accents give me goosebumps( I have this thing, a bit of a crush when it comes to Scottish accents). The video is good and the song is even better.

Loving me some Rilke

I think because I'm down and can't do a lot that I've been thinking of all the things I can't do. I've been known to complain a tad(Mark will laugh about this) about walking and hiking. Of course now that there is no possible way for me to do either, I missing it. Maybe this will be my HUGE motivation to get out there more and hike. I was reading from a book I have of Rilke's poems and I found this one. For now I guess I will enjoy Mark's photo's and read about walking and hiking instead. Enjoy.


A Walk

My eyes already touch the sunny hill.
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has inner light, even from a distance-

and charges us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it,
we already are; a gesture waves us on
answering our own wave...
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.

by Rainer Maria Rilke

Going Stir crazy

I think after my foot is all healed and I can be more mobile I am going to rearrange and decorate my room. After staring at it for so long because of this stupid ankle, I've about had it with the view. After looking around at my room for weeks now I think it's time for a change. I haven't had much to write about since I haven't really done a lot since getting back from Mexico. It has been a bit of a bummer actually but I am on the mend and I think I see the light. You will notice in the photo's that they are all taken from the same angle, it's not exciting but I thought I would share. Enjoy and if you have any decorating suggestions, fire away.

U2 and MRI's

You might ask what U2 and MRI's have in common? Nothing would be my answer. Last week though I had my first MRI (of my right ankle that I hurt in Mexico). I'm very happy that it was my ankle and not my head or body because I think I would maybe go insane or need some drugs to sedate me a little before hand. I was very happy that I could choose music to listen to for the 45 minutes that I had to lay completely still. I chose U2 but it was a toss up between that and Bob Marley. I was afraid I would want to dance a little if it were Bob so I went with U2's greatest hits. It helped and I was so glad that I could listen to music to tone down the loud sound of the MRI machine. Have you seen one of those before? They are huge and so loud. As I lay there on the table being completely still yet holding on to a buzzer thing that I could push if I needed help (yet was told not to because they would have to stop the procedure), I kept thinking that it would be something simple like a sprain and nothing more. Unfortunately it's not something simple like a sprain and I have to have surgery on the 11th of August. I ruined some of the cartilage in my ankle and some of the ligaments. How bizarre is this though. They will drill into the bone and let the blood seep out into my ankle which it will form new cartilage. He also has to repair some of the ligaments. If that surgery doesn't take, then they will take cartilage from a cadaver and place it in my ankle/foot. How fun does that sound? Tons, I know. I then will be on crutches for 6 weeks, the boot after that for a couple weeks and then physical therapy.
I have a great orthopedic surgeon though that a friend referred me to and I feel completely safe in his hands. Unfortunately the podiatrist that I went to before him told me it was just a sprain and to wear the boot for a week and then take it easy. I wont be going back to him any time soon. I'm not looking forward to surgery. I have a bit of a fear of surgery and being put under. I'm glad though to be getting my foot worked on and hopefully strengthening it. I can think of funner things I'd rather be doing this summer but I know it will be better in the long run. If you have any movie(DVDs) or book suggestions send them my way. I will have plenty of time to watch them and to read.

Wisdom teeth are HUGE!

I just got back from taking Kiah to get her wisdom teeth taken out. They wrapped her teeth up in a nice little packet and gave them to me. I took one look and had to put them away. It's been so long since I had mine taken out that I don't even know if my parents kept mine or not but those things are HUGE. No wonder we have to have them taken out, there wouldn't been any space in our mouth for them. I feel bad that we had to wait for our insurance to roll over again for the new year, because by the time I took her in, they had all pushed up through the skin. She was scheduled for tomorrow and today I called to see if there was any way to get her in because she's been in so much pain. Luckily they had a cancellation and were able to fit Kiah in. She was one loopy person when they wheeled her out to the car. She kept poking at her lips and gum's. I would tell her to just lay back and sleep but she would pull the mirror down and poke at her face and try to talk to me and say how huge her face was. It was a bit entertaining to say the least. I had my wisdom teeth taken out when I was 16. My parents didn't have the greatest dental insurance and had to pay for it out of their pocket. They weren't so happy to hear I had 6 wisdom teeth. It was a joke for a long time that I couldn't just have 4 like everyone else but that I had to have 6 and it was 100$ a tooth. My dad only had 2, his parents were probably very happy. I think Kiah will do great and recover fast. She has a pretty high pain tolerance and she is young. It's just hard to watch her go through all these steps that get her closer to leaving the house. Like turning 16, dating, driving, next year she's a senior, getting her wisdom teeth taken out. All those teenage milestones that get her closer to becoming an adult. I will have to take some good photo's later of her, swollen cheeks and all.

Photo's from a funeral

I hope a couple of these photo's aren't looked at as morbid but that you can sense the happiness that we all felt at Grandma Smith's funeral knowing that she was with her husband and parents and other family members that have passed on. These photo's show the great posterity she left and the family that came together to honor her and her life.

Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling

Mark's sweet Grandma Smith passed away last Sunday and we drove to Rigby, Idaho for the funeral on Wednesday. Her daughter-in-law and two of her granddaughters sang the song "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling" at the funeral as per her request. It was hard to not cry and also hard to not have a big smile on our faces because she has been ready to go for a long time. Her first husband passed away when Mark was probably a year old and then her second husband passed away in 1992. She has missed him very much and has said for the longest time that she was ready to go and be with her "Howard." She also loved to tell us that she could be taken at any moment because she was humble after all. We haven't seen Grandma Smith for a few years because of her health and because of the distance. We were in her area last Thanksgiving and would've gone to see her but she didn't know who anyone was anymore and Mark wanted to remember her when she was spunky and had her memory. I think it would've been too hard to see her the way she has been the last few years. I wanted to list a few things that I remember about Beula and that I will treasure about her. When they had the Teton Dam flood in 1976 there was tons and tons of fabric that people thought had been ruined by the flood and people were just going to throw it away. Mark's Grandparents (being the resourceful people they were) knew they could wash it and reuse a lot of it. Grandma Smith washed tons of fabric and cloth and made quilts for people who had lost blankets due to the flood and then later she made quilts for her family. We have a quilt with some of that material. Mark's Grandma also made our wedding cake. It was three layers and was beautiful. It had red roses on it. Her and Howard also cooked a lot of the food that we had at our reception. Grandma Smith loved her flower garden and took care of it with such love and grace. The flowers in her backyard were immaculate. Grandma Smith also had rows and rows of raspberries. If we ever stopped by her place in the summer we would go outside and pick raspberries and sit and eat in the backyard and talk to her. She wouldn't let us leave without taking some jars of bottled raspberries. They were delicious.Grandma also flew out to California when Kiah was baptized and then when we went to the Temple with Sofia later that day. She was so happy to be there with us and her family. Grandma Smith had many trials in her life and a lot of them brought on by her own family members but she never gave up and her faith never wavered. Mark's uncle Doug and his family did a video one night a few years ago of Grandma and interviewed her, they wanted to ask a bunch of questions about her life before she couldn't remember anymore. They asked at the end of the CD what she would like to tell her family, that she would want them to remember. She said " to always stay close to their Heavenly Father and to always bear their Testimony of him." Then they asked if she would like to sing a song and she sang the one I mentioned above. It was so sweet. She will be missed but at the same time, she lived a full life. She was 86 when she passed away. We all know she is with her "Howard" and as happy as can be.