Thursday, May 13, 2010

To Epiphanies and beyond......

While cleaning up my desk and putting photo albums away I found a note that I'd written and put in Kiah's scrapbook I made for her. I thought I would share it. I was going through her album look for photo's I want to use for a gift for her on graduation. I remember writing this little note and the feelings I was experiencing at the time.
"I've been writing lately about Epiphanies that I've been experiencing. Some by myself, some with the kids, some with Mark. With the girls I have had similar moments. I've just now begun to understand and realize that Epiphanies are revealing scene's or moments, illuminating discoveries. I have had many of these special; almost heart stopping times with Kiah. When I was in labor with her and it seemed to be going along smoothly, she all of the sudden became distressed. She was facing sideways and would not turn. My doctor told Mark and I that he might have to do a C-section. They wheeled me out of the birthing room to an operating room. I was very nervous(being first time mom and just 23) and I could tell Mark was as well. With hard work from both the doctor and myself(more from me of course) Kiah was delivered at 11:49am on April 3,1992. Whether every mother experiences this or not is of no relevance to me (not to be harsh), it was my moment. They put Kiah on my stomach after they cleaned her up and she was so beautiful. This living breathing being was ours. I touched her little hand and she clutched onto my finger and I looked into her eyes and was in awe. Babies are so inspiring, they remind you of starting fresh, of innocence and all that is new and trusting. Later I would experience this with Sofia but in a different way. Still amazing nonetheless. We get to be a part of their moment that for them is new and unsure. It reminds us to trust again, to look at our surroundings and have faith. As a young mother, I had no idea what was in store for me when they handed me Kiah. I just knew that she was mine, that she trusted me, she looked into my eyes, held on to my finger and we were mother and daughter".
That's been 18 yrs now since that wonderful day. She leaves for school and will one day not too far down the road become a mother herself. I love her more than words can express and feel honored to be her mother.