To tot or not to tot?

While staying at Bear Lake we had to go to LaBeau's for food and shakes. One of our favorite things to get are their tater tots and fry sauce. We haven't been able to find fry sauce outside of Utah. It's kind of funny to be honest, it's a Utah thing. When the Winter Olympics were in Utah there was even a collectors pin that had green jello and fry sauce on it. Funny. We have found that if you ask for onion ring sauce at red robin it's pretty much the same as fry sauce in Utah. Try it, it's good. The older we get and the less fries we consume, the less we crave fry sauce. Yet.....when we go to Utah we give in and dunk to our hearts content! Oh, one more place with yummy fry sauce and probably my all time favorite and for two reasons. The training table. I love it because 1)you order your food from a phone at your table and 2)guacamole bacon burgers! Yum. They do have yummy fries and yummy fry sauce. I might sound like I eat fries a lot. Really I don't, nor do I eat tater tots. Except in Utah when the coveted fry sauce is around and it's free. Yum, takes me back.

“To understand your parents' love you must raise children yourself.”

This trip was a hard one for me, in regards to my parents. This might not be the most uplifting blog. My parents are both 76 and not the healthiest 76 year olds around. I've met some 80 year olds that could run circles around my parents and not be out of breath. It makes me sad. This trip left me wanting my parents from just even 9 years ago back. 9 years is not that long ago but that's how long ago it was when we adopted Sofia and my Mom stayed at our house in Providence,Utah with Kiah while we were gone to Florida. My Mom took care of Kiah for about 10 days, she fed her, got her off to school, helped with her homework, played with her,fed her more,got her to bed and then did the same thing over again the next day. There is no way my parents could do that today. While we were at their house my Mom kept apologizing and saying she was sorry that it was so boring and that this is probably how it will be now when we go visit them. She apologized for the kids being bored. It broke my heart. I told her we didn't go to Logan for any other reason but to see them and to be with them and that is what we were doing. We didn't need anything else. Mark did a lot with the kids and I appreciate that. I sat with my Mom, I massaged her arthritic hands, I watched the cooking show with her (even though she just listens because she can't really see the tv anymore even if she sits right up in front of it)and I sat and crocheted while she listened to her book on tape that she orders for free from an organization for the blind that has every book on tape you could ever think of. My Mom was a big reader. I don't remember a time she didn't have a book she was reading. She told me once that she just went from one book to the next, no lulls in between. My Dad likes to putt and that's what he did. He might shuffle around and tell the same stories over and over again but he's still independent enough. My Mom on the other hand I feel is slipping from me. She forgets things I have told her, she can't hear the greatest, she can't see hardly at all. A daughter and her Mom have a bond that is strong and even though it's still there and even though I loved just sitting with her,I'm sad for that bond that I'm losing. I didn't want this to be totally depressing. I wanted to share a photo of them at Bear Lake sitting under the cheap umbrella we bought so that they could sit down by the kids while they played in the sand and not die of heat. I don't think my Mom could see that well and my Dad dozed off, but I know they had a good time. The kids would tell them what they were building or doing. My Mom would ask what the kids were doing out in the water. We had a fun time with them at Bear Lake. This is our 3rd time in a row that we have gone to Bear Lake with them when we are visiting them for the summer. I hope we don't wear them out too much but it's a great memory for the kids and it's a fun time for me to spend with my parents. I hope my Mom knows I wasn't bored. Being at their house wasn't about being entertained. It was just about being.

Turquoise Water and Raspberry Shakes

One of my favorite places to go to as a teenager in the summer was Bear Lake. One summer a group of friends and I would go up every Thursday in the morning and stay all day. We would take lunch and a cassette player (because yes I am old) and we would stay all day until it got dark and then head back to Logan. Another summer I lived there while working at La Beau's drive'In. A friend of my parents owns La Beau's and I think my parents wanted to get me away from some friends of mine so they sent me there to work. :) I would work for 5 days then on the night of the 5th day Renee La Beau would take myself and another girl back to Logan that also had the day off. We would spend that night at our parents, then the next and on the morning of the second day she would pick us up at 7am and drive us back to Bear Lake and so on. It was a great summer. I made a lot of money for a teenager, had fun at Bear Lake and got really tan (which let's face it, was important in the 80's). Now when we come back to Logan to visit family we always go over to Bear Lake and stay overnight. The water is so low and there are more cabin's than there use to be, but other than that it's still the same. I love the first view when you come around the bend after Sunrise campground. I see that blue with Turquoise in the middle and I can't wait to go swimming in it. Then we drive down to Garden City and I see La Beau's and I know eventually we will go get a raspberry shake and I'll get a turkey avocado sandwich. My kids love playing in the lake, it's not too cold for them since they are use to cold lakes living in Washington. I like that it's shallow for a long time and I don't have to worry about the kids safety. They don't go out very far. We just went there this weekend with my parents and the kids. My mom asked me if I thought the kids would still go to bear lake on their own after they are gone (my parents)? If I thought they would bring their kids there? I think they will. It's not a commercialized place, yet it's fun and breathtaking. It's peaceful for parents and fun for kids. It holds memories for Mark and I and we are creating memories with our kids now at Bear Lake. I hope they want to do these things when they are older and have kids of their own. I hope they have good memories that they want to continue carrying on and sharing. Did I happen to mention I love Bear Lake?

who says you can't go back home?

When will I stop referring to where I was born and grew up, as "home" or as "I'm going back home"? No matter where we have moved to or how long we have lived there it never fails that when we are going to go to Utah for a week or two in the summer I tell people we are going back "home." Which brings me to that statement that people say "you can't ever really go back home." True that what your home was as a kid will never be the same, but it's still always going to be your "home, your comfort (if it was a comfort as a kid), your familiarity,your place." Things can change, new stores, new developments, new people, new everything, but there are still those same things that make it yours. The swimming hole that my friends and I use to go to every summer is still there, the candy store that we rode our bikes to is still there (most likely there isn't penny candy anymore but still it's a small family owned store),there are still the same people in my neighborhood that know me,there is still the old theater that shows older movies twice a week for a few dollars, there is the canal that we use to float every summer and people still do today. There are still enough things left that make it my "home" that when we drive into Cache Valley I take a deep breath and sigh. I smell the fields, the alfalfa,and yes the manure (though it doesn't smell great it brings back memories),I see the Logan Temple on the hill and USU on another hill, I am home. I know all the places I want to go, to see, the people I want to see, the things I want to eat. These little comforts that I take back to my other home with me. My permanent home. That's another thing. When I leave my childhood home and I'm talking to people I say "we are leaving to go back home." I have my past and my future I guess. Both needing each other. I don't like the thought of what it will be like when my parents are gone and there's no reason to come back here each summer. Will we still come to remind us, to bring the kids. Will they get bored of hearing our stories, are they bored already? Most likely. It's funny though because at night when the kids can't sleep they ask us to tell them stories about our growing up and the fun things we did. I have great memories of my childhood home and I say you can go home.

She must have been a beautiful baby.........

Yesterday Mark made a comment about Sofi's smile. That she has the best smile. She does. She always has and she always will. When she smiles her eyes sparkle and you can't help but smile yourself. When we adopted Sofi she was two days old. We picked her up from the hospital. I still remember going into the nursery area and Sofi was in her little bassinet thing. The nurse said to me "there's your little girl" it was so strange, in slow motion, yet so beautiful. The nurse made me sit in a wheelchair all the way out to the car, it's hospital policy. Mark and I laughed the whole way out. Then the nurse had to help Mark and I get her in her car seat and get her all strapped in. I think she was a bit concerned. It had been about 7 years since we had done the whole baby thing. We were rusty. I write about it now 9 years later and it seems like just yesterday. This month is her birthday. She's as cute and sweet now as she was when I first held her.
She is a funny,spunky,feisty,sweet,artistic,physically strong,sensitive,and loving girl. I can't imagine my life without her. My heart skips when she breaks out in one of her big smiles and laughs at something she finds extremely funny,because when she does it brightens my day.

Surprise for Mark!

This will make Mark so happy. I have decided to join the land of bloggers. Mainly for family and friends because lets face it, who else wants to read this kind of stuff? I have long since given up on scrapbooking. Took much wasted time and money in my opinion. Now I make books through shutterfly and spend less time and less money and there is no more of the fru fru stuff on the pages. I feel less stressed and that makes me happy. I do tend to look longingly at the scrapbook store when we drive by, memories of cute stuff and all that paper. Oh how I love that paper. Then I think of how fast I can whip out a book going through shutterfly(my next venture is blurb.com because they are cheaper and I think better quality). This will also be a fix for me, a replacement so to speak for scrapbooking. Does it sound like I miss it? At times yes. I know Mark doesn't miss me going. We have a cute store here in Issaquah though. I go in with Kiah when she needs stuff for school and I touch all the paper. I'm telling you, I have a thing about paper. All the textures and patterns. It's the same with me going into a fabric store. I can't get enough of all the different fabric and patterns. I get a bit fixated. Ok enough. This is me saying I have a blog. There will be more to follow. Hopefully not too boring.