Sunday, August 17, 2008

who says you can't go back home?

When will I stop referring to where I was born and grew up, as "home" or as "I'm going back home"? No matter where we have moved to or how long we have lived there it never fails that when we are going to go to Utah for a week or two in the summer I tell people we are going back "home." Which brings me to that statement that people say "you can't ever really go back home." True that what your home was as a kid will never be the same, but it's still always going to be your "home, your comfort (if it was a comfort as a kid), your familiarity,your place." Things can change, new stores, new developments, new people, new everything, but there are still those same things that make it yours. The swimming hole that my friends and I use to go to every summer is still there, the candy store that we rode our bikes to is still there (most likely there isn't penny candy anymore but still it's a small family owned store),there are still the same people in my neighborhood that know me,there is still the old theater that shows older movies twice a week for a few dollars, there is the canal that we use to float every summer and people still do today. There are still enough things left that make it my "home" that when we drive into Cache Valley I take a deep breath and sigh. I smell the fields, the alfalfa,and yes the manure (though it doesn't smell great it brings back memories),I see the Logan Temple on the hill and USU on another hill, I am home. I know all the places I want to go, to see, the people I want to see, the things I want to eat. These little comforts that I take back to my other home with me. My permanent home. That's another thing. When I leave my childhood home and I'm talking to people I say "we are leaving to go back home." I have my past and my future I guess. Both needing each other. I don't like the thought of what it will be like when my parents are gone and there's no reason to come back here each summer. Will we still come to remind us, to bring the kids. Will they get bored of hearing our stories, are they bored already? Most likely. It's funny though because at night when the kids can't sleep they ask us to tell them stories about our growing up and the fun things we did. I have great memories of my childhood home and I say you can go home.

2 comments:

Heather Chamberlain said...

I do the same thing, Stac. Utah will always be "home" in some ways. I have two homes also. I feel exactly the same.

Mark said...

True that you can go home, but not necessarily to live. Remember we tried that and we found it wasn't the same. Perhaps its the chance to visit that is the best way to "go home".