Sunday, August 24, 2008

“To understand your parents' love you must raise children yourself.”

This trip was a hard one for me, in regards to my parents. This might not be the most uplifting blog. My parents are both 76 and not the healthiest 76 year olds around. I've met some 80 year olds that could run circles around my parents and not be out of breath. It makes me sad. This trip left me wanting my parents from just even 9 years ago back. 9 years is not that long ago but that's how long ago it was when we adopted Sofia and my Mom stayed at our house in Providence,Utah with Kiah while we were gone to Florida. My Mom took care of Kiah for about 10 days, she fed her, got her off to school, helped with her homework, played with her,fed her more,got her to bed and then did the same thing over again the next day. There is no way my parents could do that today. While we were at their house my Mom kept apologizing and saying she was sorry that it was so boring and that this is probably how it will be now when we go visit them. She apologized for the kids being bored. It broke my heart. I told her we didn't go to Logan for any other reason but to see them and to be with them and that is what we were doing. We didn't need anything else. Mark did a lot with the kids and I appreciate that. I sat with my Mom, I massaged her arthritic hands, I watched the cooking show with her (even though she just listens because she can't really see the tv anymore even if she sits right up in front of it)and I sat and crocheted while she listened to her book on tape that she orders for free from an organization for the blind that has every book on tape you could ever think of. My Mom was a big reader. I don't remember a time she didn't have a book she was reading. She told me once that she just went from one book to the next, no lulls in between. My Dad likes to putt and that's what he did. He might shuffle around and tell the same stories over and over again but he's still independent enough. My Mom on the other hand I feel is slipping from me. She forgets things I have told her, she can't hear the greatest, she can't see hardly at all. A daughter and her Mom have a bond that is strong and even though it's still there and even though I loved just sitting with her,I'm sad for that bond that I'm losing. I didn't want this to be totally depressing. I wanted to share a photo of them at Bear Lake sitting under the cheap umbrella we bought so that they could sit down by the kids while they played in the sand and not die of heat. I don't think my Mom could see that well and my Dad dozed off, but I know they had a good time. The kids would tell them what they were building or doing. My Mom would ask what the kids were doing out in the water. We had a fun time with them at Bear Lake. This is our 3rd time in a row that we have gone to Bear Lake with them when we are visiting them for the summer. I hope we don't wear them out too much but it's a great memory for the kids and it's a fun time for me to spend with my parents. I hope my Mom knows I wasn't bored. Being at their house wasn't about being entertained. It was just about being.


Mark said...

Nice write up Stac. At least they are still here and how we interact with them will change over the years.

staceygriff said...

Yes I am very happy that they are here. I didn't write it to be down or depressed. I wrote it as a journal type entry. I am glad they are around for sure.